Perils of a Pregnant Brain

A pregnant mind is a perilous thing.  At least it is in my case.  As previously mentioned, I have been beyond forgetful during this pregnancy.  Like embarrassingly forgetful!  Paying cash for a dinner while saying a generous, “Keep the change,” only to learn that I didn’t even leave the fellow enough to cover the bill.  Loosing my phone multiple times on a daily basis.  When asked what my age was, replying with a cheery, “19!  Nope…wait…I’m 29.”  Well, yesterday topped them all.

Jordan and I have a great routine with Eliana after dinnertime.  One of us does her bath and gets her ready for bed while the other cleans the kitchen/family room.  We swap out day-to-day and it has really worked well for us.  By 8 pm each night, we have a happy sleeping girl and a clean apartment to relax in.  Fabulous!  Tuesday night found me on bath duty with Jordan recovering the kitchen from dinner.  Eliana was adorable as always, splashing and giggling to her heart’s content while singing a random song during her bath.  Once she was scrubbed and near pruned, I got her ready for bed: lotion, jammies, clean teeth, brushed and dried hair.  The result – a happy, sparkly little lady!  After hugs, kisses and snuggles, Jordan prayed over her in her room and laid her down to sleep.  A lovely end to an enjoyable evening.

Then Wednesday morning came.  I left the apartment early to get to Chapel Hill for a full day of Six Sigma training, leaving Jordan on child duty for the day.  Class was just beginning as I received the following text from Jordan:

“Um…that was disgusting.  Just imagine picking up a newly wakened child who is bawling, to find her entire nighty soaked and smelling like poop.  So I go to change her and…there’s no diaper!  Just poop and pee everywhere!  Let’s just say she just had a bath.”

I could not contain my laughter!  Poor Jordan…what a way to start the day!  Hysterical child who wakes to find herself covered in nastiness.  I chuckled as I thought that he had forgotten to put her diaper on the night before.  No wait…I got her dressed last night.  She must have taken it off.  No wait…he said there was no diaper.  There was NO diaper.  I FORGOT TO DIAPER MY OWN CHILD!!!  This fiasco was completely MY fault!!  I know I’ve been forgetful lately but really?!?!  What parent forgets to diaper their un-pottytrained child before bed?!  Or ever?!?!!!  REALLY?!?!!!!

The next hour consisted of random spurts of laughter blanketed heavily by mortification and many apology texts to Jordan.  Thankfully he had a great sense of humor about it.  Of course, I will be trying to live this down for the next decade or lifetime or so.  *sigh*  I’ve had pregnant brain before but this is ridiculous!  It is beyond humiliating but way too hilarious to keep to myself.  So if you’re ever having a forgetful day or find yourself having a pregnant moment, just smile and say, “At least I didn’t pull a Patience!”

11 Comments

Filed under Chapel Hill, Patience, Pregnancy

11 responses to “Perils of a Pregnant Brain

  1. Kelly Via

    I just laughed out loud to the point where Cana wanted to know what I was laughing about and Kayil came to see if there was a picture. That is just so funny, and awful, all at the same time. I am glad Jordan had a good sense of humor about that. You are right, you will be hearing about that for a long time!! Very. Funny!

  2. I laughed out loud! Poor Jordan. I’m glad he had a since of humor about it.

  3. Totally cracking up! The joys of parenthood will never cease. 🙂

  4. Oh my goodness. Thanks for the laugh this afternoon. Bless poor Jordan.

    Yeah I can imagine 25 years from now, you’ll be talking at the dinner table with your beautiful adult daughter about the time Mommy forgot to put on a diaper and Daddy had to deal with the consequences.

  5. That is HILARIOUS!!!! Oh my gosh!!!! Ahhhhhhahahahah…

  6. Heidi

    I can’t stop laughing!! Oh man, that is the best story yet, you realize you have a few more months of this?! You should track all of these stories and write a book, EVERY PREGNANT WOMAN WOULD BUY IT! Praise the LORD for gracious husband’s!

  7. Stefani McFarland

    Hilarious! I love it and can definitely appreciate the pregnant brain! Just an FYI…sometimes it really doesn’t matter if you diaper them at night. We woke this week to find Timmy soaked, except it was just his shirt and sheets. The diaper and jammie pants were completely dry. He followed his brother into the bathroom during the night and attempted to go as well, except he forgot the part about tucking his wee-wee pack into the diaper! Gotta love sweet and hilarious parenting moments. I think it’s time for nighttime pull-ups for our little one!

  8. kim

    HAaAaAaAaAaAaAaAaAaAaAaAaAa!!! So glad he did not send us a pic of THAT! 😀

  9. Bonita

    that is classic…thanks for making my day….you are perfectly normal, don’t worry…you wouldn’t be normal if you didn’t make SOME mistakes hehe…..thanks so much for sharing:)

  10. Jennifer

    Thanks so much for the laugh! Making memories you’ll never forget!!

  11. Danielle Ware

    oh Patience..I loved reading this 🙂 Yesterday I bought orange juice and left it in the hot car all night and had to throw it away today, put too much dishwashing soap in the dishwasher so my hubby woke up to a soaked kitchen from an overflowing dishwasher and today I dropped my phone in the pool! Pregnancy brain is awful! hahaha, so happy that it is over for you and your new baby boy is in your arms 🙂 CONGRATS!!

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