Category Archives: Pregnancy

Still Here…

To say the past few months have been a whirlwind would be a ginormous understatement.  In a blink, time has flown from being massively pregnant and traveling to DC to now being a mother of two amazing kids.  Evan Garrett turns 3 weeks old tomorrow and though he has only been with us a short time, I could not imagine life without him in it.  I am completely smitten with this precious little boy and amazed at the love Eliana shows him daily.  Jordan continues to astound me with the incredible father he is to our kids and how he finds little ways daily to encourage and love me.  Simply put — I am blessed beyond measure and comprehension.

I hope to blog more regularly in the days and weeks ahead as I adjust to our family’s new routine (and hopefully gain more sleep).  There are pictures to be posted, stories to be told, posts to catch up on, and hilarious pregnant moments to share.  But for now, know that the Leinos are having an amazing summer.  Thank you all for your prayers on our behalf as we waiting for Evan’s arrival and the joy you have shared with us since his birth.  More to come soon!

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Filed under Blogging, Eliana, Evan, Family, Jordan, Patience, Pregnancy, Random, Thoughts

Under The Weather

I’m not sure what it is about this week: perhaps the change of seasons, this ever-growing baby boy, or some bug that’s going around.  Whatever the cause, I have certainly been under the weather this week.  Nausea, leg cramps, heart burn, migraines.  Not my best week for sure.  But despite the lingering yuck and sleepless nights, I’m reminded there is much to be thankful for in the midst of feeling ill:

God has provided so much for our family.  A safe home, a warm bed, food, clothing, medicine to help with aches and discomforts, healthy children, a new baby on the way, white cells.  While I don’t feel my best at all, I’m in far better shape than countless many in our country and around the world.  This too shall pass.  Being physically slowed down for the week, I’ve been able to focus far more during my reading times in the Bible and elsewhere.  Some times the most undesired circumstances can bring about rich, hidden blessings.  Who knew the Book of Numbers had so much to say!

My husband is truly amazing.  He has cared for Eliana and I incredibly well all during one of the busiest work weeks of the year so far.  He sweetly tells me I’m beautiful on my yuckiest days, rubs my ever-cramping feet, and has made many runs to Target for more ginger ale…at all hours of the day.  My daughter is precious.  She seems to understand why Mommy has needed to be on the couch so much, often running over just to give me a hug or lay there with me.  So sweet.  I’m blessed with an wonderful family, both immediate and in-laws.  They are all caring and considerate, praying on my behalf and sending encouraging messages throughout the day.  I’m surrounded by incredible friends.  They are always a delight to be around and can bring a smile to even the most nauseous face.  Friends in every season.  What a blessing!

This may not be the most fabulous week of my life, but it certainly has not been the worst.  My life is not perfect.  However, in the midst of the good, the bad and the mundane, God promises to with me (Deut. 31.8).  He truly is all I need (Phil. 4.19).  Whether we’re at the top of our game or under the weather, enjoying the views from a beautiful mountaintop or trudging through the fog of a dark valley, there is always an opportunity to be thankful.

“Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!”  Philippians 4.4

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Filed under Eliana, Family, Friends, God, Jordan, Patience, Pregnancy, Random, Thoughts

Perils of a Pregnant Brain

A pregnant mind is a perilous thing.  At least it is in my case.  As previously mentioned, I have been beyond forgetful during this pregnancy.  Like embarrassingly forgetful!  Paying cash for a dinner while saying a generous, “Keep the change,” only to learn that I didn’t even leave the fellow enough to cover the bill.  Loosing my phone multiple times on a daily basis.  When asked what my age was, replying with a cheery, “19!  Nope…wait…I’m 29.”  Well, yesterday topped them all.

Jordan and I have a great routine with Eliana after dinnertime.  One of us does her bath and gets her ready for bed while the other cleans the kitchen/family room.  We swap out day-to-day and it has really worked well for us.  By 8 pm each night, we have a happy sleeping girl and a clean apartment to relax in.  Fabulous!  Tuesday night found me on bath duty with Jordan recovering the kitchen from dinner.  Eliana was adorable as always, splashing and giggling to her heart’s content while singing a random song during her bath.  Once she was scrubbed and near pruned, I got her ready for bed: lotion, jammies, clean teeth, brushed and dried hair.  The result – a happy, sparkly little lady!  After hugs, kisses and snuggles, Jordan prayed over her in her room and laid her down to sleep.  A lovely end to an enjoyable evening.

Then Wednesday morning came.  I left the apartment early to get to Chapel Hill for a full day of Six Sigma training, leaving Jordan on child duty for the day.  Class was just beginning as I received the following text from Jordan:

“Um…that was disgusting.  Just imagine picking up a newly wakened child who is bawling, to find her entire nighty soaked and smelling like poop.  So I go to change her and…there’s no diaper!  Just poop and pee everywhere!  Let’s just say she just had a bath.”

I could not contain my laughter!  Poor Jordan…what a way to start the day!  Hysterical child who wakes to find herself covered in nastiness.  I chuckled as I thought that he had forgotten to put her diaper on the night before.  No wait…I got her dressed last night.  She must have taken it off.  No wait…he said there was no diaper.  There was NO diaper.  I FORGOT TO DIAPER MY OWN CHILD!!!  This fiasco was completely MY fault!!  I know I’ve been forgetful lately but really?!?!  What parent forgets to diaper their un-pottytrained child before bed?!  Or ever?!?!!!  REALLY?!?!!!!

The next hour consisted of random spurts of laughter blanketed heavily by mortification and many apology texts to Jordan.  Thankfully he had a great sense of humor about it.  Of course, I will be trying to live this down for the next decade or lifetime or so.  *sigh*  I’ve had pregnant brain before but this is ridiculous!  It is beyond humiliating but way too hilarious to keep to myself.  So if you’re ever having a forgetful day or find yourself having a pregnant moment, just smile and say, “At least I didn’t pull a Patience!”


Filed under Chapel Hill, Patience, Pregnancy

Half-Way There

Today, I am 20 weeks pregnant!  Its shocking really that this pregnancy is already half-way over.  Just a few short months ago, I was in the best shape of my married life as I ran my first half marathon.  Little did I know that as I ran those 13.1 miles, a new life was just days old and growing within me.  No wonder the nausea lasted so long after the race!  20 weeks later, my runners’ body has given way to a baby bump and maternity wear.  (Sadly, this week brought the stark realization that I can no longer fit into my normal skinnies.  *sigh*  So long, favorite jeans.  Hopefully we’ll meet again in a years’ time.)

This pregnancy has been quite different than my previous prenatal journeys.  For one, I’ve experienced nearly no nausea (thank You, Jesus!) which is a far cry from the others.  I was always on the verge of puking throughout my first two.  With nausea next to nil and migraines occurring no more than usual, this physically has been a much easier pregnancy so far.  It seems my hormones have made up for the lack of sickness though as I’ve been very emotional since day one.  Poor Jordan.  I can be laughing one moment and then uncontrollably weeping the next.  Definitely moody as well.  Jordan, you are the most patient man!  Thank you for loving me in spite of me and for finding humor in my randomness.  You are more than wonderful.

As far as memory goes, it seems the brain dies just a bit more with each pregnancy.  That’s how it feels anyways.  I’ve forgotten names of people I’ve known for years (30 minutes into talking with them!), put the cutting board away in the fridge – twice, asked Jordan the same question 5 times in a row without realizing it, and searched fervently for keys that I was holding IN MY HAND.  Goodness.  My family has certainly enjoyed much entertainment on account of my forgetfulness.  Not that it makes it any easier.  To be honest, I just feel stupid during those moments but my sweet husband never makes fun of my absent-mindedness.  Lord, seriously bless him!

Above all the changes, discomforts, quirks and emotions, this new child is a gift!  This growing life has taught me much about trusting God’s will and provision.  I’m fully aware that God is the One who ultimately places children in their mother’s wombs and that He has different journeys for different women.  To simply be pregnant is a privilege, one for which I am truly grateful.  Since learning at last week’s ultrasound that we were having a healthy baby boy, I’ve experienced waves of emotions.  A son!  We’re having a baby boy whose organs are all forming correctly!  It still brings tears to my eyes knowing we’ve been given another opportunity to love and parent a sweet boy.  While we are quite far from having a name picked out (QUITE far), I’m so eager to meet our son face-to-face in a few months’ time.  Will he have his daddy’s rich brown eyes?  Will he have red hair like his brother or bright green eyes like his grandparents?  I can hardly wait!

20 weeks down.  20 weeks to go.  Lord, thank You for growing this precious child in me thus far.  Please continue to mold him physically and even emotionally to be a strong champion for You once he’s here.  Thank you all who read our blog for your prayers on our behalf.  What a blessing.

Now I’m off to get out all of my maternity clothes as life is about to get much, much larger….


Filed under Evan, Patience, Pregnancy

Officially Official

Today we saw our littlest bundle of joy again.  As soon as his/her little body came on the screen, this pregnancy sank in to a whole new level.  There’s a real little person in there!  Our first sonogram a few weeks ago showed just a flickering dot.  Its absolutely amazing how quickly babies develop.  A mere three weeks later and our darling looked human!  We saw legs, arms, spine & a sweet little noggin.  Our official due date is June 4, 2011.  So there you have it.  Its officially official.  We’re having a baby!


Filed under Evan, Photography, Pregnancy

Whirlwind of a Summer

What a summer it has been!  So much has happened since June.  Family trips to Annapolis, MD, Washington D.C., Lynchburg, VA, Tampa, FL, and Myrtle Beach, SC.  Ran a half-marathon in Virginia Beach.  A Leino family wedding in Traverse City, Michigan.  Moved to a new apartment closer to Raleigh.  A Roddy family reunion in the Outer Banks.  Patience began Green Belt Six Sigma training with UNC Hospitals’ PICU team.  Leino Studios continues to grow.  Wow!

Now that life has settled back down to a normal-ish pace, we’ll be back to regular blogging.  Many stories & pictures to come in the days ahead.  For now, we’ll leave you with this pic of our sweet Eliana who is now just shy of 15 months.






Oh and by the way….we’re pregnant.  🙂


Filed under Blogging, Family, Pregnancy

The Story

This one is for all the ladies.  I’m not sure what it is about labor that makes it so universally bonding.  But somewhere between the waiting and that final push, labor stories seem to bring women together.  So for all those curious of Eliana’s arrival story – here it is!

I had gone in for my 40-week appointment on Monday, July 27.  To be frank, I was shocked to still be pregnant.  Isaac had arrived on his own a few days before his due date so I just “knew” that Eliana would be here before her due date.  After all, “you always go faster with your second.”  (Note to self – always assume you’ll go to term or later with any future pregnancies to avoid complete frustration in the waiting.)  Much to my chagrin, I had not progressed at all from the appointment before.  The doc recommended waiting a WEEK before talking induction dates.  Bless his heart…this simply would not do.   Little Miss needed to arrive in July!  After a cordial but opposing conversation, he doubtfully agreed to call in just to check for any induction openings.  Success!  They had one opening on Friday, July 31st, and I replied with a smile, “We’ll take it!”

The phone rang at 5:30a that Friday morning with the news to come on in to the hospital.  They were ready for us!  We arrived at REX around 6:45a and by 8:30a, the Pitocin was dripping away.  The waiting had begun.  Grandparents came in to visit, we updated the blog, caught up on emails, talked about our soon-coming little girl.  And we waited some more.  By 11:30a, I had not progressed much at all and was completely bored out of my mind.  This was taking too long!  Oh, the irony of my name.  My doctor broke my water at noon to move things along.  After that, things really started rolling!  Just when the contractions really started to sting, the anesthesiologist arrived with the epi-goodness.  The anesthesiologist worked quickly with precision.  By 1:30p, the wonder drug was in place and I was at 3cm.  My, how I love that drug!  I’m usually one to try natural avenues of treatment before taking a medication.  But when it comes to labor, I’m a huge fan of epidurals.  With both deliveries, things really sped up once I got the epidural.

After the epidural was in place, I was still feeling tremendous pressure and pain in my right leg.  My nurse worked for 30ish minutes to figure out why I was feeling so much pain in my leg.  She was fantastic!  Sweet, attentive, efficient and professional.  The pain finally left my leg but I was still feeling a lot of pressure in my back.  So my nurse decided to check my progression just in case.  9 cm!  No wonder I was feeling pressure!  Within 10 minutes, I was fully dilated and the pushing.  Jordan was an awesome coach through the process.  The hour flew by and at 3:30p, Eliana Faith arrived!  No drama, no trauma, no complications.  The whole experience was completely different than my first delivery and very healing.  The delivery had progressed perfectly and our healthy little girl was finally in our arms – breathing on her own and simply beautiful.  It took a while for it all to sink in.  There she was – the one we had long prayed for.  God’s Answer looking in our eyes and capturing our hearts with every breath.

So there you have it.  Eliana Faith arrived 3.5 hours from the time my water was broken.  If I were to do it all again, my only change would be to have broken the water from the get-go.  Like I said, I’m still working on living out my name. 🙂


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Noon Update

Hey y’all!  Patience here.  After three hours of Pitocin, I’ve now had my water broken to move things along.  No epidural in yet & still feeling pretty comfortable.  Currently at 3 cm & 80%.  Hopefully things will progress much quicker now. 🙂


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At The Hospital…

We’re here at the hospital.  We’ve had a great morning so far getting settled into our room.  Our nurse has been great.  They’ve started the Pitocin, so now we’re waiting for things to progress.  We’ll do what we can to update the blog as the day goes on.  We appreciate your prayers and support!


Filed under Pregnancy

Thoughts At The Journey’s End

As of 5 o’clock today, nothing has happened.  No contractions.  No “did my water just break” scares.  No glimmers that this thing is going to start anytime soon.  As of 5 o’clock today, I’m frustrated and aware more than ever that I’m truly not in control.  Even though Eliana currently resides in my body and has grown there over the past 9 months, no amount of my will power will make her come any quicker.  Ultimately, she is God’s child.  I simply have the choice of whether or not to be a good steward of this life He has entrusted me with. 

In the midst of my lack of control, I’m seeing how pregnancy is about so much more than growing and birthing a child.  Its about faith.  Its about trusting God with what has been placed within you.  What will you do with what He has given you?  Will you nourish it to the best of your ability?  Will you be faithful in caring for yourself to give the child the best chance at health and strength?  Will you resent all the uncomfortable kicks and cramps or rejoice that there is a growing life within you?   Will you grow angry as you loose control and have to make changes to accommodate this other life within or will you further rely on God to bring His gift to fruition?  Talk about a refining journey!

I remember thinking how much I learned through my first pregnancy: learning to trust God in the face of the unknown, believing He had a good plan when all statistics pointed to something tragic, learning to care for myself and the baby within knowing the journey would take me through pain and great uncertainty.  This pregnancy has been quite different along with the lessons learned.  It has challenged me to trust God’s sovereignty in the face of difficult past circumstances.  So many times, I’ve faced the choice to perceive this journey through the eyes of previous loss or the hope of possible blessings to come.  Would I walk this journey weighed down by previous disappointment or embrace the joy that could be found in each step?  God had blessed me with a new child: would I accept it as a gift or walk in fear each step of the way?  To be honest, I’ve not always chosen the higher road in this journey.  Many times, I’ve succumb to the Satan’s whispers of past pain rather than stand on God’s promise to give me a hope and a future.  How easy it would be to say, “But that’s not been my path thus far…”  “But such and such happened last time…”  “But I’ve only had this type of experience…”

I’m so thankful for my godly husband!  Every time I have given in to fear, Jordan has spoken truth in its face.  He has stood strong when I was weak and brought me back to hope once again.  “See, I am doing a new thing!  Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?  I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland.” (Is. 43.19)

This journey has been a different one, but treasured and good just the same.  Its humbling to think that within a day or so, we’ll be parents once again to a beautiful Answer To Prayer.  I’m scheduled to be induced tomorrow morning if I’ve not gone into spontaneous labor by then.  We greatly appreciate your prayers as tomorrow approaches.  I’m still hoping to go into labor on my own, but we’ll see.  I’m aware now more than ever that I’m not in control of this – learning the meaning of my name all over again.

We’ll keep the blog posted with updates as they occur.  Hopefully by this time tomorrow, the world will know Miss Eliana Faith Leino!


Filed under Pregnancy


Well, Eliana’s due date has arrived and so far, our darling little girl has not.  She’s still active as can be…just not in the direction I would prefer.   As of yesterday’s weekly OB appointment, I’m 2 cm dilated, 70% effaced & she’s -2 in position.  I thought it would be fun to start a pool for when you think she’ll actually be here.  The prize – the thrill of knowing you totally called it! 🙂  Wager away!


Filed under Eliana, Fun, Pregnancy

In The Home Stretch

My, how time has flown!  As of tomorrow, I’ll be 39 weeks pregnant.  Its seems like only yesterday we discovered that we’d be parents again.  Preparations have been made, a new nursery set up, her name selected, clothes washed, bags packed.  All that is left to do is to wait.  Just grow and wait.

Bump at 38 Weeks

Comparatively, this has been a much easier pregnancy.  I’ve not been nearly as sick and while the cankles have once again returned, they are not nearly as severe as last time.  Eliana is certainly proving to be much feistier than her brother.  Isaac would gently move around from time to time.  But not this girl.  She’s a powerhouse, constantly moving and kicking.  Many times, we’ve watched her feet clearly move from one side to the other.  Other times, it feels like she’s doing a full-body stretch.  Sometimes she’ll move so strongly that it throws me out of step and stops me in my tracks.  I can’t wait to meet this energetic little girl of ours!

Today’s doctor’s visit went well.  I’m currently 1.5 cm dilated, 60% effaced & positionally, she’s head-down at -2.  Same as last week.  I’ve not had any real contractions as of yet.  Hopefully some spicy food and serious walking will move things along.  Funny how the past eight months have flown by while these past few weeks have felt like a crawl.  I’d much rather be awake at night holding Eliana than just feeling her kick me in the ribs.  But I really can’t complain.  I’m so grateful for the gift of carrying this sweet girl to term, grateful that she has a whole heart and all signs indicate that she’s healthy, grateful for the constant care and encouragement of my dear husband.  I’m deeply grateful.  And with every uncomfortable kick and pinch of the back, it serves as a reminder that she’s still on her way and I’ll be a mom once again soon.  I wouldn’t trade it for anything…other than holding her in my arms, of course 🙂


Filed under Eliana, Family, Pregnancy

And her name shall be…

We are pleased to announce that Little Miss Leino now has her name!  As most of you know, we’ve thought long and hard over this.  For months, it seemed every option we came across simply landed on our “Not It” list.  We scoured through books, name search engines, family trees.  Her name had to be just right: beautiful, feminine and unique with an incredible meaning.  Well…we’ve finally found it.  A Hebrew name that means “God has answered us”.  Perfect for our sweet girl:

Eliana Faith Leino


Filed under Eliana, Pregnancy

The Bump

I’ll be 33 weeks pregnant tomorrow.  Where has the time gone?!  Little Miss Leino has been very energetic these past few days.  I love it!  Perhaps she’ll be a feisty red-head like her mama 🙂  So after many requests, here’s an up-to-date pic of “The Bump”.  Enjoy!The Bump - 33 Weeks


Filed under Fun, Pregnancy

Back In Action

After a long pause from blogging, the Leinos are back with much to share!  Its been a busy couple of months so it will take several posts to get you all caught up.  So today we’ll focus on the most important change in our life – the soon-coming Little Miss Leino!

Leino Baby #2 Sonogram 06-01-09 3

Today, I’m 32 weeks pregnant.  Hard to believe that in roughly 8 weeks, she’ll be in our arms!  While we don’t know her name just yet, we’re already becoming quite familiar with her distinct personality.  Our girl is quite a busy-body.  She’s constantly moving around and most often at night.  There have been many times that she’s kicked so hard, it looks like my shirt is dancing.  Strong girl!

We had our final Level 2 ultrasound yesterday at REX.  It was so good to see her again.  After an hour of checking every organ & measurement, we were given the best report: all signs indicate that she’s perfectly healthy!  Thank You, Lord!  Our girl is actually measuring one week ahead of schedule and currently weighs 4 lbs 9 oz.  Perhaps she’ll make her big debut before July 28th.  With the summer heat, I won’t mind that at all. 🙂  Every ultrasound we’ve had, she’s kept at least one arm up by her face.  Thankfully, she gave us a great shot of her profile.  She even opened her eyes a bit (kind of strange when you’re seeing it on 3D ultrasound).  We’re absolutely in love and cannot wait to see her face-to-face.  Here she is!

Leino Baby #2 Sonogram 06-01-09 1


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A Good Report


Today was our second Level 2 ultrasound on Baby Girl Leino.  She had herself completely balled up for most of the sonogram with hands hiding her face – much like her older brother.  At least the Leino kids are consistent!   Our sonogram technician was incredibly thorough, explaining everything he was looking at as he went.  When the exam first began, she had her legs properly crossed at the ankles.  Jordan was so proud, saying “That’s my girl!”  He’s going to be an incredible father.

Our sonogram tech spent most of his time getting a good look at her brain and heart.  Once he finally had a good view of her heart, Jordan and I felt a weight lifted as we saw four perfectly-formed chambers pumping away.  No signs of cardiac defects!  Praise the Lord!  He spent an hour measuring all her bones and organs while trying very hard to get a good 4D view of her face.  The doctor then came back to review the ultrasound findings with us.  Thankfully, no structural anomalies were found.  Our darling currently measures two days ahead of schedule, while her belly measures a full week ahead.  She’s certainly been eating well.  We have our third Level 2 in May at 30 weeks gestation for another look at all her organs, bones, and growth.  We’re hoping that she’ll cooperate with us for a good picture then.

Its truly a blessing to receive such a good report as it was at this point with Isaac when we first learned of his cardiac defects.  Thank you all for your prayers today. God has been faithful in answering them with a loving “yes”.


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It’s a ….

3D Ultrasound 13wks

Today’s appointment went as well as possible.  We met with a genetic counselor to review family history and to understand the range of testing available to us at each stage of the pregnancy.  We were pleasantly surprised to have the same counselor who talked with us during our pregnancy with Isaac.  She remembered our story and was very thorough in updating our history, as well as explaining the options available.

Blood work was drawn on Patience for early screening of syndromes such as Downs and Edwards (Trisomy 18).  Studies have shown correlation between the existence of syndrome/cardiac anomalies and the amount of fluid found at the back of the baby’s neck (nuchal translucency) between 11 and 13 weeks gestation.  Normal range of fluid is 1 to 3 millimeters.  Anything above 3 mm can be indication of a syndrome.  Thankfully, our little one’s fluid measured right at 1 mm!  Our baby’s skull and brain were also examined for early structural anomalies.  We were grateful to hear none could be detected at this time.  Everything measured today looked normal for this stage in the pregnancy.  Praise God for a good report!  We hope to hear back on the bloodwork results sometime next week.

The best part of our visit was certainly the ultrasound.  Our baby was chomping away and waving, but had its face buried against the uterine wall.  Of course, much like Isaac, our little one was refusing to give us a clear shot of its face and decided to fall asleep halfway.  Those Leino kids are stubborn!  Our ultrasound tech did happen to tell us the gender of Baby Leino.  We’ll have it “officially” confirmed at our 18 week ultrasound, but usually this form of i.d. is 95% accurate.

Looks like we’re having a GIRL!


Filed under Pregnancy, Updates

Appointment at 11

Today, we have our first trimester screening appointment at 11a.  This includes a detailed Level 2 ultrasound of our little one, measuring everything and looking for any abnormalities.  Please be praying for us during this appointment – for clear thinking and peace as we talk with the doctors.  Also, please pray for the ultrasound technician – that they would have focused eyes and clear views of every part of our baby.  We’ll update the blog later today with an update.  Thanks!


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Hope & Trust

Next Wednesday will be a day to remember…and for the better, we hope.  At 8 am, we’ll be at the hospital for our first Level 2 ultrasound and some testing.  The thought of seeing our little once again and in such detail is exciting.  Its always amazing to see babies that small and so fully alive.  With Isaac, it felt like we knew him well before he arrived because we had seen him grow and move so much with the ultrasounds.  But with this excitement of seeing our baby comes some trepidation, wondering what may be found.  Thankfully, none of Isaac’s difficulties were genetic so there’s no medical reason to believe we would experience that road again.  But having traveled that path before, you go from thinking “it could never happen to me” to fully understanding anything is possible.

So what does one do when past experience and future hope collide?  How do you reconcile knowing what has happened with believing the best for things to come?  What if such and such happens?  What if they find something wrong?  Will I be able to go through all that again?  When the path is bittersweet, how do you keep the “bitter” from choking out the “sweetness”?

I’ve been reading through Luke with the Life Journal plan.  The timing has been perfect as so much of the book talks about faith, hope, and trusting God with the impossible.  Days before scheduling the Level 2 ultrasound, I read Luke 12 and verses 25 – 31 really spoke to me.  “Can all your worries add a single moment to your life?  Of course not!  And if worry can’t do little things like that, what’s the use of worrying over bigger things?  …Don’t worry whether God will provide for you.  These things dominate the thoughts of most people, but your Father already knows your needs.  He will give you all you need from day to day if you make the Kingdom of God your primary concern.” What a timely reminder.  It popped back fresh in my mind when anxiety from the scheduled appointment came.  I’ve struggled with the land of “what ifs” for much of my life and dwelling there has never added a single moment to my life, let alone made it better.  Worry only detracts from one’s quality of life, placing dread in hope’s place and fear in the path of peace.  Even in knowing this, so often my flesh writhes within me to grasp worry’s illusion of control.  And every time I’ve grabbed it, it has only left me weary with the fresh reminder of how little control I actually had in the matter.

“Don’t worry whether God will provide for you.” God has provided so much already.  He gave me life.  He gives me this moment’s air and the ability to take it in by breath.  When dread creeps near, I need only to look back and remember all God has already done in my life, all He has already provided me with.

As Wednesday approaches, I’m sure there will be many opportunities to grab worry’s hand, to travel back to the land of “what ifs” and dread, to be consumed with things that have no guarantee of occurring.  But at the same time, another choice will also be there: the choice to give my anxious thoughts to God, the One who has promised a hope and a future. (1 Peter 5.7, Jeremiah 29.11)  As The Message translates it, “Don’t fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God’s wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It’s wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life.” (Phil. 4.6-7)

I don’t know what the future holds.  I don’t know what we’ll see on the ultrasound Wednesday.  But of this I am certain: God created this child perfectly for His plan, He holds my very existence and loves me no matter my response to Him.  He has placed great joys in my life and faithfully carried me through the valleys.  While it will always be a choice, my desire is to always choose hope and trust over worry and dread.  And in those moments when I’ll give in to emotion and fear what has not yet come, He’ll carry me on anyways til I can stand again.

“You are blessed, because you have believed that the Lord would do what He said.” (Luke 1.45)


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Moving Forward

Patience and I are immensely grateful to God for everything He has given us and where He has brought us.  Everyone’s journey is filled with peaks and valleys.  Right now we find ourselves at an overlook spot on the side of a mountain, looking out over our past peaks and valleys, and curious about what the future holds.  As I look out, I see that God has not only walked with us through the high points of life, but also through the low points. That gives us great confidence and comfort, knowing that He will walk with us through whatever comes our way in the future.  We were blessed to have had Isaac, and we have been blessed again with a second child.

We have experienced an interesting set of emotions since learning of our new little baby.  We are very much excited about having our second child. I can’t adequately express how happy we are to once again be preparing for another baby. But at the very same time, there are the natural emotions of grief and fear that re-surface due to our experience with our son Isaac.  Stepping into this new season of pregnancy and preparation for another baby brings back a flood of memories that are still very fresh.  Memories that are wonderful, but can be painful all at the same time.

We know that this is part of the process for us, so we are trusting God to walk with us through this next season of life.

We would like to ask you to join us in praying for a few things:

  • Pray for healthy development of our new baby.
  • Pray for the baby’s life, that God would use him/her in a way that has an eternal impact for the cause of Christ.
  • Pray for Patience, as she’s dealing with sickness that goes along with pregnancy – primarily migraines and nausea.
  • Pray for wisdom as we make decisions for prenatal care
  • Pray for strength, comfort, and peace that only comes through placing our trust in Christ.


Filed under Pregnancy