A Life Of Patience

After a long pause from blogging, the Leinos are back with much to share!  Its been a busy couple of months so it will take several posts to get you all caught up.  So today we’ll focus on the most important change in our life – the soon-coming Little Miss Leino!

Today, I’m 32 weeks pregnant.  Hard to believe that in roughly 8 weeks, she’ll be in our arms!  While we don’t know her name just yet, we’re already becoming quite familiar with her distinct personality.  Our girl is quite a busy-body.  She’s constantly moving around and most often at night.  There have been many times that she’s kicked so hard, it looks like my shirt is dancing.  Strong girl!

We had our final Level 2 ultrasound yesterday at REX.  It was so good to see her again.  After an hour of checking every organ & measurement, we were given the best report: all signs indicate that she’s perfectly healthy!  Thank You, Lord!  Our girl is actually measuring one week ahead of schedule and currently weighs 4 lbs 9 oz.  Perhaps she’ll make her big debut before July 28th.  With the summer heat, I won’t mind that at all. 🙂  Every ultrasound we’ve had, she’s kept at least one arm up by her face.  Thankfully, she gave us a great shot of her profile.  She even opened her eyes a bit (kind of strange when you’re seeing it on 3D ultrasound).  We’re absolutely in love and cannot wait to see her face-to-face.  Here she is!

Today was our second Level 2 ultrasound on Baby Girl Leino.  She had herself completely balled up for most of the sonogram with hands hiding her face – much like her older brother.  At least the Leino kids are consistent!   Our sonogram technician was incredibly thorough, explaining everything he was looking at as he went.  When the exam first began, she had her legs properly crossed at the ankles.  Jordan was so proud, saying “That’s my girl!”  He’s going to be an incredible father.

Our sonogram tech spent most of his time getting a good look at her brain and heart.  Once he finally had a good view of her heart, Jordan and I felt a weight lifted as we saw four perfectly-formed chambers pumping away.  No signs of cardiac defects!  Praise the Lord!  He spent an hour measuring all her bones and organs while trying very hard to get a good 4D view of her face.  The doctor then came back to review the ultrasound findings with us.  Thankfully, no structural anomalies were found.  Our darling currently measures two days ahead of schedule, while her belly measures a full week ahead.  She’s certainly been eating well.  We have our third Level 2 in May at 30 weeks gestation for another look at all her organs, bones, and growth.  We’re hoping that she’ll cooperate with us for a good picture then.

Its truly a blessing to receive such a good report as it was at this point with Isaac when we first learned of his cardiac defects.  Thank you all for your prayers today. God has been faithful in answering them with a loving “yes”.

Today, we have our first trimester screening appointment at 11a.  This includes a detailed Level 2 ultrasound of our little one, measuring everything and looking for any abnormalities.  Please be praying for us during this appointment – for clear thinking and peace as we talk with the doctors.  Also, please pray for the ultrasound technician – that they would have focused eyes and clear views of every part of our baby.  We’ll update the blog later today with an update.  Thanks!

Next Wednesday will be a day to remember…and for the better, we hope.  At 8 am, we’ll be at the hospital for our first Level 2 ultrasound and some testing.  The thought of seeing our little once again and in such detail is exciting.  Its always amazing to see babies that small and so fully alive.  With Isaac, it felt like we knew him well before he arrived because we had seen him grow and move so much with the ultrasounds.  But with this excitement of seeing our baby comes some trepidation, wondering what may be found.  Thankfully, none of Isaac’s difficulties were genetic so there’s no medical reason to believe we would experience that road again.  But having traveled that path before, you go from thinking “it could never happen to me” to fully understanding anything is possible.

So what does one do when past experience and future hope collide?  How do you reconcile knowing what has happened with believing the best for things to come?  What if such and such happens?  What if they find something wrong?  Will I be able to go through all that again?  When the path is bittersweet, how do you keep the “bitter” from choking out the “sweetness”?

I’ve been reading through Luke with the Life Journal plan.  The timing has been perfect as so much of the book talks about faith, hope, and trusting God with the impossible.  Days before scheduling the Level 2 ultrasound, I read Luke 12 and verses 25 – 31 really spoke to me.  “Can all your worries add a single moment to your life?  Of course not!  And if worry can’t do little things like that, what’s the use of worrying over bigger things?  …Don’t worry whether God will provide for you.  These things dominate the thoughts of most people, but your Father already knows your needs.  He will give you all you need from day to day if you make the Kingdom of God your primary concern.” What a timely reminder.  It popped back fresh in my mind when anxiety from the scheduled appointment came.  I’ve struggled with the land of “what ifs” for much of my life and dwelling there has never added a single moment to my life, let alone made it better.  Worry only detracts from one’s quality of life, placing dread in hope’s place and fear in the path of peace.  Even in knowing this, so often my flesh writhes within me to grasp worry’s illusion of control.  And every time I’ve grabbed it, it has only left me weary with the fresh reminder of how little control I actually had in the matter.

“Don’t worry whether God will provide for you.” God has provided so much already.  He gave me life.  He gives me this moment’s air and the ability to take it in by breath.  When dread creeps near, I need only to look back and remember all God has already done in my life, all He has already provided me with.

As Wednesday approaches, I’m sure there will be many opportunities to grab worry’s hand, to travel back to the land of “what ifs” and dread, to be consumed with things that have no guarantee of occurring.  But at the same time, another choice will also be there: the choice to give my anxious thoughts to God, the One who has promised a hope and a future. (1 Peter 5.7, Jeremiah 29.11)  As The Message translates it, “Don’t fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God’s wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It’s wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life.” (Phil. 4.6-7)

I don’t know what the future holds.  I don’t know what we’ll see on the ultrasound Wednesday.  But of this I am certain: God created this child perfectly for His plan, He holds my very existence and loves me no matter my response to Him.  He has placed great joys in my life and faithfully carried me through the valleys.  While it will always be a choice, my desire is to always choose hope and trust over worry and dread.  And in those moments when I’ll give in to emotion and fear what has not yet come, He’ll carry me on anyways til I can stand again.

“You are blessed, because you have believed that the Lord would do what He said.” (Luke 1.45)

Patience and I are immensely grateful to God for everything He has given us and where He has brought us.  Everyone’s journey is filled with peaks and valleys.  Right now we find ourselves at an overlook spot on the side of a mountain, looking out over our past peaks and valleys, and curious about what the future holds.  As I look out, I see that God has not only walked with us through the high points of life, but also through the low points. That gives us great confidence and comfort, knowing that He will walk with us through whatever comes our way in the future.  We were blessed to have had Isaac, and we have been blessed again with a second child.

We have experienced an interesting set of emotions since learning of our new little baby.  We are very much excited about having our second child. I can’t adequately express how happy we are to once again be preparing for another baby. But at the very same time, there are the natural emotions of grief and fear that re-surface due to our experience with our son Isaac.  Stepping into this new season of pregnancy and preparation for another baby brings back a flood of memories that are still very fresh.  Memories that are wonderful, but can be painful all at the same time.

We know that this is part of the process for us, so we are trusting God to walk with us through this next season of life.

We would like to ask you to join us in praying for a few things:

• Pray for healthy development of our new baby.
• Pray for the baby’s life, that God would use him/her in a way that has an eternal impact for the cause of Christ.
• Pray for Patience, as she’s dealing with sickness that goes along with pregnancy – primarily migraines and nausea.
• Pray for wisdom as we make decisions for prenatal care
• Pray for strength, comfort, and peace that only comes through placing our trust in Christ.

Pregnancy is a curious thing. Its amazing the impact someone so small can have over your entire body & mind. At times, the physical effects of this little one growing inside me can be quite unpleasant, the future blessing it will bring far outweighs all the discomforts & inconveniences. To have this experience is to receive a gift, one that I value with humble gratitude.

As of tomorrow, I will be 11 weeks along. Its hard to believe that six weeks have already gone by since we learned of this new “occupant”. My, how time does fly! We had another OB appointment today. Everything had gone smoothly until our doctor tried to audibly find the heartbeat. After trying for a little while, we went next door for an ultrasound…just to make sure nothing was wrong.

No wonder she couldn’t find the beat at first – our little one was bouncing all over the place! As soon as she put the machine on, Baby Leino’s image popped onto the screen, bouncing & waving as though it had not a care in the world. Seeing the life in our child, now looking more like a baby rather than a peanut, hit me in a way I did not expect as it all became much more real to me. At one point, it looked as though it could be smiling!

Since this pregnancy is considered high risk (because of our history with Isaac), there will be some testing & detailed ultrasounds in the weeks to come. A perk of being high risk – you get to see your growing child so much more! This child is already a blessing. We are praying for continued growth, health, & protection as he/she matures each day. At least we know this: our little one is full of energy!