Category Archives: Eliana

August 18, 2014 · 11:30 am

Learning To Let Go

Bright-eyed at 5:45a.  With a jump and a smile she leapt from bed.
The day had finally arrived.  Today everything changes. Today our home will never be the same.

Today Eliana Faith became a Kindergartener!!

I’ve never seen her more excited.
I’ve never felt such bittersweet ache at her gain.
My baby girl now an Elementary Student.

Last night she slept like a rock.
I slept like a restless child, tossing, turning, watching the clock tick slow.
Like the relentless tide so questions assailed my insomniac mind.

Did I do enough?  Where did I fail in preparing her?  How did the long days of toddlerhood pass in a flash?  Is she ready?  Did I do enough?!

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I will lift up my eyes to the mountains;
From where shall my help come?
My help comes from the LORD, Who made heaven and earth.
He will not allow your foot to slip;
He who keeps you will not slumber.
Behold, He who keeps Israel will neither slumber nor sleep.
The LORD is your keeper;
The LORD is your shade on your right hand.
The sun will not smite you by day, Nor the moon by night.
The LORD will protect you from all evil;
He will keep your soul.
The LORD will guard your going out and your coming in
From this time forth and forever.
(‭Psalms‬ ‭121‬:‭1-8‬ NASB)

Though she came from my womb, she was knit by heavenly Hands. All her days were ordained before one came to be. In God she lives and moves and has her being. His plans for Eliana brim over with hope and love. His thoughts towards her outnumber the stars. His mercies pour out afresh on her every morning.

On Eliana. And her momma.

Grace.  Grace.  God’s grace.
Grace that will cover and cleanse within.
Grace.  Grace.  God’s grace.
Grace that is greater than all my sin.

Where I lack, His grace covers.  Where I fall, His arms reach low to lift me up.  Where I have failed my daughter, His love remains strong on her behalf.  He has not called me to be a perfect mother.

Just a faithful one.

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Today begins a new chapter of learning to trust God further, to lean on Him harder, to release what is ultimately His into His steadfast arms.

Eliana, you continue to teach me faith, to adjust my eyes to see God’s continued answered prayers.  Walk tall today, sweetheart.  You are ready for this.  Not because of me but because Almighty God walks with you wherever you go.  Listen for His voice.  He will never leave you nor forsake you.  Enjoy today, my darling girl.  You are ready!

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July 31, 2014 · 12:31 pm

Five Years Of Answered Prayers

Eliana – Hebrew origin, translation “my God has answered my prayers”

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Five years ago today our world changed forever as Eliana Faith was born! Bright-eyed from the start, she has filled our world with light, joy, laughter and adventure! As our eyes met for the first time, I knew my life would never be the same.

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She opens her beautiful blue eyes wide every morning anticipating what adventures the day may hold.

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Eliana fills our home with love overflowing. She is kind, generous, nurturing, imaginative, compassionate, hilarious, energetic, brilliant, and all-around amazing! She loves people, gives generously, feels deeply and shines brightly.

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Joyous. Full of life. Nurturer. Friend to all. Protector. Tea party hostess. Adventurer. Builder. Performer. Story-teller. Runner. Sister. Daughter.
Answer to Prayer.

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Sweet girl, the past five years have blessed me more than I can express. My joy, my honor, my blessing is being your Mom. I love you, Eliana Faith!

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July 11, 2014 · 8:00 am

Anchored

This may surprise you. It certainly surprised me. You’d think after nearly 5 years, the truth would have sunken in by now. But my eyes opened wide this week to new knowledge of myself, a perspective I’ve long yet unknowingly carried deep. Watching my children run strong and bubble over with laughter, it struck me as never before.

Eliana and Evan are growing up.
They’re alive!
And I’m.
Completely.
Shocked.

In an instant fear and wonderment collided as my children’s growth hit me afresh. As if scales had fallen from my eyes, I saw my children as the little man and young lady they’ve become and the babies they will never be again. Sounds odd, I know. But in awe I watched them converse like little adults, laugh at each other’s jokes and console their sibling’s occasional boo-boos. They’re growing up.

They’re still here.

Loss lingers long past its welcome, tucking itself down deep to rear its worrisome head when you’d least expect. Startling defenses, it stalls progress and silences hopes at their onset. Like the rolling tide, you may jump over the first big wave but if you don’t continue forward, the aftertide will quickly follow. You’ll still get wet. You’ll still feel its pull.

Loss leaves you changed. No matter if its death or disease or disappointment, loss is loss is loss. By His grace and faithfulness, God has bound broken heartstrings, cradled my woes and shone hope into darkened places of my soul. But I realized stark this week that the tides had continued to roll deep within long past its initial breakers. I never fully believed these days would come and had braced my inner depths for the assumed “worst” to follow.

Oh to grace how great a debtor
Daily I’m constrained to be
Let Thy goodness like a fetter
Bind my wandering heart to Thee
Prone to wander, Lord, I fear it
Prone to leave the God I love
Take my heart, Lord
Take and seal it
Seal it for Thy courts above

As the tide of truth rolled in, realization reduced me to confession. Confession of walls built within from loss that in turn had inflicted loss – they had held me captive from fully enjoying each gift of today, from fully committing to daily now of my children, from dreaming of days to come.

Loss has marked me. Its tide will ebb and flow until my breath fails and pulse stills. BUT. Truth understood renders choice. Every fearful impulse, every braced breath, carries on its back the choice to succumb OR to offer it full to the only One with grace enough to make it through. Loss acknowledged can breed gratitude and faith-filled trust in the One who bore our griefs, who carried our sorrows to Calvary. Its a journey. A most humbling journey. But one worth traveling. As we offer our fears into trustworthy Hands with honest confession and resolve to see through grateful eyes, hope sinks down deep. Amidst the turbulent tides of this worrisome world, we can cling to our Anchor, firm and secure. Sure as the rising dawn, the hope found alone in Jesus will always hold fast and true.

My children grow before my eyes. I breathe deep in gratitude, trusting their tomorrows to the One who has renewed my hope today.

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Thank You, Jesus, for all You’ve redeemed. Thank You for loving every wounded place, for pursuing every fear-built wall with love strong enough to breech boulders. Thank You for grace to see beauty in ashen spaces, for joy in mourning’s place, for patience while we learn to trust You. Thank You for redeeming what You allow. Thank You for all my children. You have taught me much through them with lessons more in store. I am grateful.

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June 24, 2014 · 10:13 pm

How They’ve Grown

Summer.

The auburned boy has turned three, the boy whose name means “brave messenger”, whose eyes reduce my soul to puddles of joy and delight.  He climbs everything, breaks many things, fears NO thing, and makes his mother a bit more gray with each passing dare-deviled day.  He greats me with a “huug and a kiss” morning and night and many moments between, this snuggler of my heart.  He softens the rough places I didn’t know I had and overwhelms me with the tangible goodness of God.  A boy.  A ginger boy.  A boy who rests his head safely on my shoulder with secure breaths and contented sighs.  He delights in his sister, melts his mother and follows closely after his father’s every step.  Oh this boy of mine.  How I love him so.

Longer days, shorter nights.  July quickly approaches.

Her dark hair cascades down like sheening waves of chestnut and ebony.  Just shy of five, this beautiful Answer To Prayer shines hope and joy through her bright blue eyes, eyes like sapphires surrounding a glowing orb of glacier blue. Simplicity delights this boundless dreamer who sees a friend in every stranger, greets each new day as an adventure and has never known a dull moment in her existence. She bestows gifts from the mundane to the imagined extravagant, all boasting of her affection and placed value in people. How she loves to give gifts to others! Her nurturing heart tenderly cares for every wound in the Leino household – those seen on our flesh and those hidden in my aging soul. She has lavished love and joy into places long tucked away in me. This blue-eyed beauty sees beautiful in the plain, the broken, the misshapen and forgotten. She sees through innocent eyes with a courageous love that knocks fear off its feet. Protector of her brother, admirer of her father and kindred spirit to the child her mother once was. This sweet girl of mine. How I love her so.

Summer’s heat will quickly give way to autumn. Autumn to winter. Winter to another year to another decade to a life fully lived. May I drink it all in and savor every drop.

These precious children of mine. Oh how they’ve grown.

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September 6, 2012 · 6:00 am

Off To A Great Start

Eliana LOVED her first day of preschool!  She was giddy about it from the moment she woke on Tuesday.  Thankfully I was able to maintain my composure at drop-off, only tearing up while praying with her before going in.  With a quick hug, she headed right into her classroom and began working on a craft with some classmates.  “Bye, Mom!”  And that was it.  My baby girl was officially a student.  (Where has the time gone…)

While the little lady was at preschool, Evan and I enjoyed a fabulous date together.  We enjoyed waffles from Jubala Village Coffee then went exploring at the park.  The heat finally forced us indoors until it was time to pick up big sis.  I loved having one-on-one time with my little man.  Evan is the sweetest, snuggliest, most charming 15-month old I’ve ever met.  Precious boy.

At the end of the school day, Eliana greeted us with a smiling face and stories to tell.  Our new season of preschool is off to a great start.  One great day down, many more to go.

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September 4, 2012 · 6:00 am

A New Chapter Begins

How did this day get here so fast?!  In a blink, Eliana Faith has grown from a bright-eyed newborn to a vivacious 3 year old.  This sweet girl is full of life and kind to absolutely everyone she meets.  I never knew it possible for someone to be so caring and outgoing at merely 3 years of age.  What a gift!  And today, this precious blessing begins a new chapter as she has her first day of preschool.  Preschool!  TODAY!!

We took Eliana to Meet The Teachers Day last Friday.  It was a huge success!  She warmed to Miss Amanda and Miss Courtney instantly and had a wonderful time doing crafts with them in her new classroom.  She seemed completely comfortable in her new surroundings.  While she explored her classroom and crafted away with her teachers, I was chronically fighting back tears.  How did this day get here so fast?!

Smart, loving and compassionate.  Curious, energetic and hilarious.  Independent.  Eliana Faith has already exceeded every hope I’ve ever had for a daughter.  I could not be more proud of her.  My social butterfly will absolutely love school.  Though my eyes fill with bittersweet tears at the thought of this new chapter unfolding, they are tears mostly of joy.  After all, she is a precious gift that God has entrusted to me.  She is ultimately His.

Congratulations on your first day of preschool, sweet girl!  Mommy and Daddy are ever so proud of you.

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July 31, 2011 · 2:31 pm

Two Years of Answered Prayers

Eliana Faith is now 2 years old!  Words cannot adequately describe the joy and blessing she is to us.  When we chose her name, meaning “God has answered us”, little did we know how amazing this sweet answer to prayer would be. She has truly been God’s beautiful answer to so many prayers.

She has grown into a delightful, energetic, outgoing little girl.  Her zeal for life is infectious and she sees a friend in every new person she meets.  She is completely fascinated with all things ocean (especially Nemo) and cannot get enough of bubbles or balloons.  Eliana loves to help in the kitchen whenever she can, whether its whisking eggs or helping to measure ingredients.  It always makes me smile to hear her count away or sing, “Yes! (with a lisp) Jesus loves me!”  Ever since Evan came home, she has been an amazing big sister.  She loves covering him with hugs and kisses, saying “its okay!” anytime he cries.  It has overwhelmed me at times to watch her care for her baby brother so sweetly.

Happy Birthday, Eliana Faith!  Thank you for all the beautifully moments over these past two years.  I am so excited to see all God has in store for you this next year.  What a blessing and honor to be your mom!

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June 27, 2011 · 2:23 pm

One Month Along

Time flies quickly these days and it seems to have shifted into warp speed ever since Evan arrived.  Our sweet boy turned one month old on Sunday!  He has grown quite a bit since his grand May arrival, now weighing 10 lbs 3 oz and measuring 22.25 inches long.  Looks like I’ll end up having two tall and handsome men in my life. 🙂

Eliana grows more beautiful and adventurous every day!  She is on the move from the moment she wakes until bedtime.  While I’m still learning how to keep up with my gorgeous bundle of energy, I wouldn’t have it any other way!  Her zest for life and outgoing demeanor brings a fresh element of surprise to each new day.  Eliana askes for Evan first thing each morning, wanting to greet him with hugs and smiles.  We’re still teaching her how to gently love on Evan, but there is no question that she adores her little brother.  Anytime he cries, Eliana is right there to enthusiastically tell him, “Its okay!”


The past month has been many things: hilarious, emotional, eye-opening, precious, refining, thrilling, exhausting.  But above all, it has been a blessing.  I could not be more grateful for these two precious children, thankful for their health and humbled that God entrusted such amazing gifts to Jordan and me.  I would not trade a single day for anything else in the world!

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June 15, 2011 · 1:35 pm

Still Here…

To say the past few months have been a whirlwind would be a ginormous understatement.  In a blink, time has flown from being massively pregnant and traveling to DC to now being a mother of two amazing kids.  Evan Garrett turns 3 weeks old tomorrow and though he has only been with us a short time, I could not imagine life without him in it.  I am completely smitten with this precious little boy and amazed at the love Eliana shows him daily.  Jordan continues to astound me with the incredible father he is to our kids and how he finds little ways daily to encourage and love me.  Simply put — I am blessed beyond measure and comprehension.

I hope to blog more regularly in the days and weeks ahead as I adjust to our family’s new routine (and hopefully gain more sleep).  There are pictures to be posted, stories to be told, posts to catch up on, and hilarious pregnant moments to share.  But for now, know that the Leinos are having an amazing summer.  Thank you all for your prayers on our behalf as we waiting for Evan’s arrival and the joy you have shared with us since his birth.  More to come soon!

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March 9, 2011 · 9:53 am

Under The Weather

I’m not sure what it is about this week: perhaps the change of seasons, this ever-growing baby boy, or some bug that’s going around.  Whatever the cause, I have certainly been under the weather this week.  Nausea, leg cramps, heart burn, migraines.  Not my best week for sure.  But despite the lingering yuck and sleepless nights, I’m reminded there is much to be thankful for in the midst of feeling ill:

God has provided so much for our family.  A safe home, a warm bed, food, clothing, medicine to help with aches and discomforts, healthy children, a new baby on the way, white cells.  While I don’t feel my best at all, I’m in far better shape than countless many in our country and around the world.  This too shall pass.  Being physically slowed down for the week, I’ve been able to focus far more during my reading times in the Bible and elsewhere.  Some times the most undesired circumstances can bring about rich, hidden blessings.  Who knew the Book of Numbers had so much to say!

My husband is truly amazing.  He has cared for Eliana and I incredibly well all during one of the busiest work weeks of the year so far.  He sweetly tells me I’m beautiful on my yuckiest days, rubs my ever-cramping feet, and has made many runs to Target for more ginger ale…at all hours of the day.  My daughter is precious.  She seems to understand why Mommy has needed to be on the couch so much, often running over just to give me a hug or lay there with me.  So sweet.  I’m blessed with an wonderful family, both immediate and in-laws.  They are all caring and considerate, praying on my behalf and sending encouraging messages throughout the day.  I’m surrounded by incredible friends.  They are always a delight to be around and can bring a smile to even the most nauseous face.  Friends in every season.  What a blessing!

This may not be the most fabulous week of my life, but it certainly has not been the worst.  My life is not perfect.  However, in the midst of the good, the bad and the mundane, God promises to with me (Deut. 31.8).  He truly is all I need (Phil. 4.19).  Whether we’re at the top of our game or under the weather, enjoying the views from a beautiful mountaintop or trudging through the fog of a dark valley, there is always an opportunity to be thankful.

“Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!”  Philippians 4.4


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March 4, 2011 · 9:54 am

Friday Facts

  • I’m 27 weeks pregnant today.  Little Man Leino has become quite a busy-body.  He is definitely strong, kicking and moving his arms with far more force than my other two kiddos at this stage.  At times it feels like he’s doing somersaults or boxing.  I can’t wait to meet this feisty little guy in June!
  • The warmer weather has allowed Eliana to spend much more time outside and she has loved it!  She wants to be outdoors every chance she gets.  Often her first word in the morning is “outside?”  Such a happy little girl.  Whether she’s flying kites with Daddy, helping Maima in her garden or coloring on the porch in a hula skirt, Eliana has a blast anytime she’s in the sun.

  • Leino Studios had a fabulous first week in its new location.  We are so thankful for the new space God provided for Jordan’s business.  Though we are still putting some final decorating touches on the space, Jordan has already enjoyed the benefits of having much more space for all his musical and business needs.  A step forward in every way, we’re excited to see all that is in store for the Studio in this next season.
  • Our little girl loves to sing!  Any time music is playing, she’s singing and dancing along.  Maima has been teaching Eliana the words and motions for “Itsy, Bitsy Spider”.  It amazes me to watch her pick up phrases and hand motions so quickly.  I found her trying to get one of her baby dolls to do the motions this past week.  Precious!
  • Journey just finished a series on Love.  Boy, has it impacted me!  Over four weeks, our church took an in-depth look into what Scripture says about Love: God’s love, our love for Him, our love for others and our love for ourselves.  I’ve found myself reading through my notes over and again, wanting to listen to the sermons more than once as they have really challenged me to grow and convicted me in areas I certainly need it.  I highly encourage everyone to take the time to listen to the messages.  Since Jesus said that the world will know His disciples by our love, its an area we all could grow in.
  • Well the sunshine and an energetic little lady are calling me outside.  Be sure to check back here on Monday as I’ll be sharing the most amazing carrot cupcake recipe I have ever tasted!  Seriously….BEST EVER!  Happy weekend, everyone!

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February 23, 2011 · 12:33 pm

Potato Chic

Eliana has really improved in learning how to feed herself at mealtimes.  Mostly neat and no longer throwing things on the floor, our little girl is growing up so fast.  Then we had pot roast with mashed potatoes…

No, that’s not water nor styling gel in her hair.  This lovely do comes from a whopping handful of mashed potatoes!  In a blink, Eliana’s hand scooped up a fist full of spuds and wiped it all in her hair.  Needless to say, she went straight from the dinner table to the bathtub.  She is one adorable, messy lady!

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February 18, 2011 · 9:34 am

Diaper Duty

Eliana continues to grow in taking care of her baby dolls.  Stroller rides, wiping their noses, reading books to them.  Much to my surprise and delight, I found her attempting to diaper her doll this week.  She was quite determined to make sure her baby’s bottom was covered.  So cute!  She’s definitely going to be an amazing big sister this summer.

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February 15, 2011 · 11:21 am

Day At The Beach

Our family traveled to Brandon, FL, this past weekend to visit Jordan’s family.  Between the good company and beautiful weather, it was a great trip.  We spent Saturday at Vero Beach visiting his grandmother, Virginia, along with his sister, Kim, who drove in from Gainesville to see us.  Good food, great conversations, and an intense game of Bananagrams.  We had a wonderful time together.  I’m so grateful that Eliana has the chance to know two great-grandparents – both who are still vibrant and living life to its fullest.

The weather in Vero Beach was stunning.  60’s and sunny.  Quite a relief from the frigid winter we’ve had in Raleigh.  Despite the chilly winds, we took Eliana to the boardwalk to run to heart’s content and see the ocean.  She had a blast! 

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February 9, 2011 · 7:00 am

Big Sister In Training – Pt.2

Eliana continues to show more interest in caring for her baby dolls, taking them everywhere she goes.  Her care always begins with the best intentions…

So close!  Try putting the stroller upright, sweet girl.

Much better!  🙂

Yesterday’s sunny and somewhat warm weather allowed us to have a nice walk around the neighborhood.  Of course, Eliana brought her baby doll along.  She was power walking with that doll!

Work it, girl!

Like any big sister in training, she was sure to check how her “baby” was doing once we reached the clubhouse.

No doubt about it – Eliana Faith is going to be one amazing big sister!

 

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February 8, 2011 · 7:00 am

My Girl

Cute, curious & confident.  Sweet, stunning & silly.  Friendly, feisty & fabulous.

That’s my girl!

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January 31, 2011 · 9:27 am

18 Months & Fabulous!

Eliana Faith is 18 months old today!  Its hard to believe that my sweet baby girl is already a year and a half old.  In a blink she’s gone from a wee bundle in my arms to a running, talking, playful, singing, dancing, giggling little lady.  This little girl talks up a storm!  Lately she likes to count to six.  The words aren’t completely formed but she makes the vowels sounds in order every time with a celebratory “Wee!” when she’s done.  So cute!  Curious about absolutely everything, Eliana’s recent fascinations are putting puzzles together and drawing.

We’re so excited to see her interact with her brother this summer as she’s quite a nurturing little lady.  She loves to rock her baby dolls, “feed” them, and push them in their strollers.  At church, she’s often found bringing toys to the crying kids in her nursery class and chatting it up with everyone.  So sweet!

Eliana received a play car for Christmas and she loves to give her dolls a ride on her car.  With a playful “Go!” she sends them flying across the room.  (We’re still working on the gentle aspect of it all.)

Little Miss is quite an active lady!  She would rather walk than be carried, run than walk, and push her stroller instead of riding in it.  Its humorous to see her independence already.  Once she’s shown how to do something, there’s no doubt that she wants to do it herself.

A favorite place to play for Eliana is in our van.  She laughs every time she pretends to drive!  It entertains her for quite some time, standing at the steering wheel and trying to turn it with all her might.  Its amazing how much kids observe at such a young age.  With keys in hand, she’ll try to put the correct key in the ignition all by her self and sings away during her “drive”.  The only challenge is when its time to leave the drivers’ seat and go back in her car seat for an actual drive.  She just wants to play!

Eliana Faith, you are a beautiful gift from God!  We immediately fell in love with you the moment we met and that love has only grown by leaps and bounds ever since.  You are sweet, intelligent, strong, beautiful and kind.  Your hugs and kisses always melt our hearts and your smile lights up any room.  We are so thankful that God allowed us to be your parents.  You are a blessing through and through.  We are proud of you, sweet girl, and are so excited to see all that lies ahead for you.  Happy 18 Months, Eliana!  What wonderful things are in store for you next!

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January 25, 2011 · 3:56 pm

Boo!

Eliana has a new favorite game: Peek-A-Boo.  She loves hiding behind things, giggling all the while, then popping out with a cheery, “Boo!”  Of course, I don’t quite think she has fully grasped the concept of a good hiding place yet.

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January 6, 2011 · 10:35 am

Chef In The Making

One of my favorite memories as a child was cooking in the kitchen with my Mom.  Whether cookies or crepes, pasta or peanut butter sandwiches, Mom always allowed me to work beside her.  Yes, those recipes always ended up far messier than if she had done it herself and I’m sure took three times as long.  But she took advantage of every possible teaching moment.  I have her to thank for my love of cooking and adventurous palate today.

 

To my delight, Eliana loves to hang in the kitchen anytime I’m cooking.  So following the wonderful example from my Mom, she has become my little kitchen helper.  It’s hilarious to see her in my apron.  Her favorite things to do are practice whisking in a bowl and help pour ingredients into the mixing bowl.  She’s adorable!  During breakfast, she gets all giddy to watch us scramble eggs…and of course, eat them.  We made sugar cookies on Christmas Day.  Eliana did a great job pounding the mess out of her dough and cutting out shapes.  I’m so curious to see what type of palate she’ll develop as she grows up.  She certainly is the cutest chef in the making.

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December 23, 2010 · 9:31 pm

Christmas Chaos

All month long, I’ve been pondering what this Christmas would be like.  We’d begin our own family traditions this year with Eliana, opening presents together Christmas morning while eating a delicious Christmas breakfast.  Family would come over for a scrumptious lunch and to relax together.  All gifts would be purchased and wrapped by the week before “The Big Day” to allow plenty of time for cooking, cleaning, sending cards and making gifts for neighbors and friends.  Everything thought through and prepared, it would be the first of many Leino family Christmases.

This week has not gone as planned.

Sunday began with NO Christmas gifts purchased yet.  (well, I take that back.  Jordan had bought a gift for me, but as far as my gift-getting responsibilities – nada)  Church was AMAZING!  Our pastor, Jimmy Carroll, preached a strong sermon focused solely on celebrating and exalting Jesus.  Seriously, its worth your time to watch it.

Sunday also brought the beginning of a nasty stomach bug that slowly overtook our entire family.  Poor Eliana got the bug first, followed by myself and finally taking out Jordan.  It even took out my mom and brother who live nearby.  From Sunday through Wednesday night, the Leino family was down for the count. Jordan was a CHAMP and did a bulk of the shopping before the bug sent him to bed (and as you know from earlier, this hardly EVER happens).  By Thursday morning, we were all well enough to venture out to finish the shopping, raid the grocery store and recover the apartment from its former invalid-ridden state.  Well, we hoped to do so anyway.  As of 8 o’clock tonight, the presents have all been bought and wrapped.  That’s it.  No grocery shopping done.  No prep-cooking completed.  The apartment is….better but not great.  Christmas cards will have to wait for 2011.  And I haven’t even begun to prep for our trip to the mountains on Monday.  Last week’s Corolla debacle has reduced us back to one vehicle so I’m home with my precious little girl while Jordan practices w/the Journey worship team for tomorrow’s Christmas Eve services.  In short, this week has felt more like chaos than Christmas.  Tonight has found me frazzled, overwhelmed by lack of checks on my to-do list.

Getting tired of my pity-party yet?  God certainly was.  As the evening has wound down, I’ve sensed Him wanting to bring comfort and ease into the midst of my self-imposed madness.  My heart began to still as I felt His reminder, “This season is not about your to-do list, your boeuf bourguignon, your perfectly clean apartment, your ducks standing all in a row.  Rest in knowing it’s not about all you have to do.  It’s about all I’ve already done!  Perhaps I allowed sickness to hit your family for a few days to make you slow down and simplify.  Whatever doesn’t get “done” won’t matter in the end.  What matters is Jesus came for YOU.  He died for YOU.  He rose from the grave, victorious over sin and death for YOU.  Relish in that.  Rest in that.  Remove your chaos from what Christmas is really all about: love, sacrifice, humility, My pursuit of humanity’s heart, and above all – Jesus.”

So here I sit, peace now replacing my previous frenetic state.  Lord, thank You for your continued patience with me and Your gentle calls back to Your heart.  Yes, I’ll do what I can to finish preparations for this weekend, but the task won’t drive me as it was before.  Its humbling to be this age and still finding myself in need of such a reminder.  But oh, how grateful I am He never tires in giving it.

May you be surrounded by the peace that I so desperately needed…and God so graciously gave.  May you rest in the true heart of Christmas rather than be caught up in the tempting chaos we so easily create around it.  Above all, may your heart and mind be filled in knowing Jesus came out of His limitless love for YOU.  Not you as in humanity in general, though that is true.  He laid aside His divine deity to come in human form for you specifically.  For YOU, you.

Merry Almost Christmas, everyone!  Time to get back to cleaning…

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